Question:
Assalamualaikum ustaz. Recently there is a viral trend on TikTok where newlyweds will record a video named “bride unboxing” or “unboxing by husband”. The video is uploaded showing the husband helping his newlywed bride to uncover her hijab by taking off all the hijab accessories and pins on her head. So, is the act of recording this permissible in Islam when it doesn’t uncover the aurah of the bride? Thank you.
Answer:
Waalaikumussalam wrt. wbt.,
Alhamdulillah, praise and gratitude to Allah SWT for His countless blessings for us all. Praise and salutations to our beloved Prophet Muhammad PBUH, his family, companions, and all those who follow his footsteps until the Final day.
We start with the statement of Allah SWT:
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا قُوا أَنفُسَكُمْ وَأَهْلِيكُمْ نَارًا وَقُودُهَا النَّاسُ وَالْحِجَارَةُ عَلَيْهَا مَلَائِكَةٌ غِلَاظٌ شِدَادٌ لَّا يَعْصُونَ اللَّهَ مَا أَمَرَهُمْ وَيَفْعَلُونَ مَا يُؤْمَرُونَ
“O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are [appointed] angels, harsh and severe; they do not disobey Allah in what He commands them but do what they are commanded.” [1]
In commenting on this verse, Qatadah stated that you commanded them to obey Allah SWT and prohibit them from committing transgressions towards Him. You should fulfil your responsibilities according to the commandment of Allah and help them in fulfilling the commandment. If you see them transgressing and committing sins to Allah SWT, then prevent them from it. [2]
Sayyid Qutb also explained, the above verse stated the responsibility of the husband who is the leader in a marriage to protect himself and his family from Allah SWT’s hell. This isn’t a light responsibility, but a huge task. [3]
Protecting the honour and dignity of one’s wife
Basically, Islam commanded a husband to protect and maintain the honour and dignity of his wife by not showcasing them in front of other ajnabi men, especially, intentionally showcasing his wife for the public’s viewing. Thus, it clearly contradicts the principles of Islam which instructs him to protect the honour of his wife.
The act of letting his wife be in sin or he doesn’t have a strong resolve to defend the honour of his wife, or he even helped the act, then there is concern that the husband may be included as a dayus man. There is a hadith narrated from Ammar bin Yasir RA, Rasullullah PBUH said:
ثَلَاثَةٌ لَا يَدْخُلُونَ الْجَنَّةَ أَبَدًا: الدَّيُّوثُ مِنَ الرِّجَالِ، وَالرَّجُلَةُ مِنَ النِّسَاءِ، وَمُدْمِنُ الْخَمْر. فَقَالُوا: يَا رَسُولَ اللهِ أَمَّا مُدْمِنُ الْخَمْرِ فَقَدْ عَرَفْنَاهُ، فَمَا الدَّيُّوثُ مِنَ الرِّجَالِ؟ قَالَ: الَّذِي لَا يُبَالِي مَنْ دَخَلَ عَلَى أَهْلِهِ
“Three groups of people who will never enter paradise are dayus men, women who resemnle men and alcoholics.” Then they (the companions) asked: “O Messenger of Allah! As for alcoholic we know of them, but who are dayus men? The Prophet PBUH answered: “They are those who don’t care who came to meet his member (wife and children).” [4]
Dayus means a man who doesn’t have the resolve to defend the honour of his family. [5] Likewise, the word dayus refers to each person who just lets evil happen on the family member under his care from amongst his wife, daughter, sister or others. Whether the evil or transgression leads to adultery such as exposing aurah in front of ajnabi men, khalwah (being alone) with her, wearing excessive fragrances and others that can lead to fitnah and induce desire (syahwat). [6]
There is another hadith from Abdullah bin Umar R.Anhuma, Rasullullah PBUH said:
ثَلَاثَةٌ قَدْ حَرَّمَ اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِمْ الْجَنَّةَ مُدْمِنُ الْخَمْرِ وَالْعَاقُّ وَالدَّيُّوثُ الَّذِي يُقِرُّ فِي أَهْلِهِ الْخَبَثَ
“There are three to whom God has forbidden paradise: One who is addicted to wine, an undutiful son, and a cuckold who agrees to his women-folk’s adultery.” [7]
Al-Munawi stated that ‘dayus’ in the above hadith means a person who lets evil or transgression in his family or wife and close family members. [8]
Hence, it is the responsibility of a husband to protect the honour and dignity of his wife even when it is in front of a blind man. This can be seen when Rasullullah PBUH instructed his wives to wear hijab in front of a blind man as stated in a hadith of Ummu Salamah who at the time was with Maimunah and they were together with Rasullullah PBUH. She said:
فَبَيْنَا نَحْنُ عِنْدَهُ أَقْبَلَ ابْنُ أُمِّ مَكْتُومٍ فَدَخَلَ عَلَيْهِ وَذَلِكَ بَعْدَ مَا أُمِرْنَا بِالحِجَابِ، فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: احْتَجِبَا مِنْهُ، فَقُلْتُ: يَا رَسُولَ اللهِ أَلَيْسَ هُوَ أَعْمَى لاَ يُبْصِرُنَا وَلاَ يَعْرِفُنَا؟ فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: أَفَعَمْيَاوَانِ أَنْتُمَا أَلَسْتُمَا تُبْصِرَانِهِ
“So, when we were with him, Ibn Umm Maktum came, and he entered upon him, and that was after veiling had been ordered for us. So, the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: ‘Veil yourselves from him.’ So, I said: ‘O Messenger of Allah! Is he not blind such that he cannot see us or recognize us?’ So, the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: ‘Are you two blind such that you cannot see him?'” [9]
Thus, Islam demands the feeling of jealousy in a person. Ibn al-Qayyim said that the origin in religion is the necessity of being caring or jealous amongst family members. Whoever doesn’t have this feeling, then it is a sign there is no religion in himself. The reason is the feeling of jealousy will protect the heart and body parts and protect and distance them from evil and transgression. Without it the heart will die and results as its sensitivity (towards haram) will also die, until there is no more strength left to reject and avoid evil. [10]
The importance of shamefulness
There is a hadith from Abu Hurairah RA, Rasullullah PBUH said:
الإِيمَانُ بِضْعٌ وَسِتُّونَ شُعْبَةً، وَالحَيَاءُ شُعْبَةٌ مِنَ الإِيمَانِ
“Iman has over seventy branches – and modesty is a branch of Iman.” [11]
Syeikh Mustafa al-Bugha when commenting on this hadith stated that shamefulness (modesty) is a trait in humans and this trait will help people to do commendable matters and leave what is rebuked and shameful. [12]
Furthermore, shamefulness is divided into two:
- Related to the rights of Allah, for instance, we feel shameful that Allah SWT sees us transgressing His commandment or committing His prohibitions.
- Shamefulness in relation to the rights of creation, such as a person protecting himself from doing something that dishonours himself or disgraces him.
Shamefulness is crucial that it is even mentioned in a hadith when Allah SWT dislikes someone, He withdrew the person’s shamefulness. This is as narrated from Abdullah bin ‘Amr, from the Prophet PBUH, he said:
إِذَا أَبْغَضَ اللهُ عَبْدًا نزَعَ مِنْهُ الحَيَاءَ
“When Allah wants to destroy a person, He takes away modesty from him,” [14]
Specifically, shamefulness is the foundation of good character and conduct towards good. Whoever has more shamefulness, then his goodness increases, and whoever has less shamefulness, his good is lesser. Shamefulness is a trait that can be developed. Every one who bears responsibilities should develop shamefulness for those under his care (of whom he’s responsible).
A person who has shame will be able to protect himself and his dignity from doing matters that contradict the norms of life and the shariah of Allah SWT. Thus, when a person loses shamefulness in himself, then all bad and evil will gather in himself.
Destruction of the custom in the west and the damage in values and manners happen when shamefulness disappeared in their lives. Enlivening shamefulness following the mould of shariah is of utmost importance in our lives.
A concern that it may be a norm in society
Furthermore, there is also concern that if this trend continues to be followed by youths of this generation that it will ultimately be considered as a norm. Moreover, what’s more worrying, is that it may lead to worse matters such as exposing excessive intimacy, exposing the aurah and others of which are supposed to be a secret between a husband and wife and not to be showcased to others.
This is as stated in a hadith narrated by Jarir bin Abdullah RA, where rasullullah PBUH said:
وَمَن سَنَّ في الإسْلَامِ سُنَّةً سَيِّئَةً، كانَ عليه وِزْرُهَا وَوِزْرُ مَن عَمِلَ بهَا مِن بَعْدِهِ بعده من غير أن ينقص من أوزارهم شيء
“And whoever introduces a bad practise that is followed, he will receive its sin and a burden of sin equivalent to that of those who follow it, without that detracting from their burden in the slightest.” [15]
Al-Nawawi stated that whoever leads towards transgression, then he’ll receive its sin, the same as people who follow it until the day of Judgement. In other words, the sin will be continuously recorded during his life and after his death. [16] Ibn Hajar al-‘Asqalani added on this matter saying that the person will bear the sin of what he taught or showed by him for as long as he didn’t repent from the sin. [17]
Conclusion
According to the above discussion, in our opinion, that wife unboxing is best to be avoided for this act clearly contradict the principles and culture of Islam itself that commanded husbands to protect and maintain the honour and dignity of each of their wives.
As the husband, he should protect and maintain his family members from the wrath of Allah SWT, concurrently calling them towards obedience of Allah and leaving His prohibitions. At the same time, we’d also like to advise all to leave this trend which clearly doesn’t showcase the character or essence of Islam itself.
May Allah SWT grant us all a clear understanding in religion. Amin.
Wallahu a’lam.
[2] See Mukhtasar Tafsir Ibn Kathir by al-Sabuni, 2/522.
[3] See Fi Zilal al-Quran, 6/3618.
[4] Narrated by al-Baihaqi dalam Syu‘ab al-Iman (10310)
[5] See al-Mausu‘ah al-Fiqhiyyah al-Kuwaitiyyah, 21/96
[6] See Fatawa al-Lajnah al-Daimah, 17/198-199.
[8] See Faidh al-Qadir, 3/319.
[9] Narrated by al-Tirmizi (2778) dan beliau menyatakan bahawa hadith ini hasan sahih.
[10] See al-Jawab al-Kafi, pg. 68.
[11] Narrated by al-Bukhari (9); Muslim (35) however with the phrase, “Faith has more than 70 branches…”
[12] See Sahih al-Bukhari, 1/11.
[13] See al-Kafi Syarah Hadith 40 by Dr. Zulkifli al-Bakri, pg. 191-192.
[14] Narrated by al-Baihaqi (7724) in Syu‘ab al-Iman.
[15] Narrated by Muslim (1017)