Question:
Assalamualaikum ustaz. Are conjugal and spiritual sustenance obligatory just as financial and material sustenance is?
Answer:
Waalaikumussalam wrt. wbt.,
Alhamdulillah, praise and gratitude to Allah SWT for His countless blessings for us all. Praise and salutations to our beloved Prophet Muhammad PBUH, his family, companions, and all those who follow his footsteps until the Final day.
Sustenance according to the 4th Edition of Kamus Dewan is money, food and other life’s needs to live, expenses and others that are obligated on a husband for his wife. [1]
Sustenance lexically means give, which is a provision from a person for the expenses of his family. While according to syarak it includes food, clothing, house and others. It is named nafaqah for it is given or used for this need. [2]
In sunnah, there is a hadith narrated from Mu’awiyah bin al-Qusyairi RA, he asked the Prophet PBUH: Messenger of Allah, what is the right of the wife of one of us over him? He replied:
أن تُطْعِمَها إذا طَعِمتَ ، وتَكْسوها إذا اكتسَيتَ ، أوِ اكتسَبتَ ، ولا تضربِ الوَجهَ ، ولا تُقَبِّح ، ولا تَهْجُرْ إلَّا في البَيتِ
“That you should give her food when you eat, clothe her when you clothe yourself, do not strike her on the face, do not revile her or separate yourself from her except in the house.” [3]
Syeikh Wahbah al-Zuhaili stated that the majority of scholars said the sustenance that is obligatory to be given to one’s wife is seven matters, which are: food, groceries, clothing, house, personal hygiene utensils, household items, helper for the wife if it is usual for the wife to have a helper. [4]
Generally, sustenance is divided into two which are material sustenance and conjugal and spiritual sustenance. Material sustenance consists of basic necessities such as food, drink, clothing and house. This sustenance is obligatory to be fulfilled by the husband according to his capability based on the set shariah. This is in accordance with the Quranic evidence from surah al-Talaq, verse 7:
لِيُنفِقْ ذُو سَعَةٍ مِّن سَعَتِهِ
“Let a man of wealth spend from his wealth,” [5]
While there is a hadith of the Prophet PBUH that commanded this matter as stated in a hadith from Mu’awiyah al-Qusyairi who asked the Prophet PBUH:
يا رسولَ اللَّهِ ، ما حقُّ زَوجةِ أحدِنا علَيهِ ؟ ، قالَ : أن تُطْعِمَها إذا طَعِمتَ ، وتَكْسوها إذا اكتسَيتَ ، أوِ اكتسَبتَ ، ولا تضربِ الوَجهَ ، ولا تُقَبِّح ، ولا تَهْجُرْ إلَّا في البَيتِ
“Messenger of Allah, what is the right of the wife of one of us over him? He replied: That you should give her food when you eat, clothe her when you clothe yourself, do not strike her on the face, do not revile her or separate yourself from her except in the house.” [6]
According to the above question, conjugal and spiritual sustenance refers to good muamalah between husband and wife and also conjugal rights between husband and wife. A husband is obligated to fulfil this conjugal and spiritual sustenance for his wife according to his capability. This is based on the statement of Allah SWT:
هُنَّ لِبَاسٌ لَّكُمْ وَأَنتُمْ لِبَاسٌ لَّهُنَّ
“They are clothing for you and you are clothing for them.” [7]
Imam Ibn Kathir cited the opinion of Ibn Abbas R.Anhuma, Mujahid, Sa’id bin Jubair, al-Hasan, Qatadah, al-Suddiy and Muqatil bin Hayyan that stated the above verse mean “They are your refuge and calm just as you are their refuge and calm.” [8]
While Imam al-Tobari stated the meaning of this verse is the combination of two bodies into one “intercourse”. [9]
Subsequently, according to a hadith to Abu Juhaifah RA, the Prophet PBUH said:
إِنَّ لِرَبِّكَ عَلَيْكَ حَقًّا، وَلِنَفْسِكَ عَلَيْكَ حَقًّا، وَلِأَهْلِكَ عَلَيْكَ حَقًّا، فَأَعْطِ كُلَّ ذِي حَقٍّ حَقَّهُ
“You owe a duty to your Rubb, you owe a duty to your body; you owe a duty to your family; so you should give to each one his due.” [10]
According to the above evidences it is clear that the husband is obligated to fulfil the material and conjugal and spiritual sustenance of his responsibilities according to his capabilities. It is a major sin for whoever doesn’t fulfil the rights that have been given to them just like a husband who neglects to fulfil the conjugal and spiritual sustenance of his wife.
It is sufficient for us to cite the story of Saidina Umar RA who asked his daughter Hafsah R.Anha regarding the conjugal and spiritual needs of a woman. This is as narrated by Abdullah bin Dinar, from Ibn Umar R.Anhuma, he said:
خَرَجَ عُمَرُ بْنُ الْخَطَّابِ مِنَ اللَّيْلِ فَسَمِعَ امْرَأَةً تَقُولُ
تَطَاوَلَ هَذَا اللَّيْلُ وَاسْوَدَّ جَانِبُهُ … وَأَرَّقَنِي أَلا خَلِيلٌ أُلاعِبُهُ
فَوَاللَّهِ لَوْلا اللَّهُ أَنِّي أُرَاقِبُهُ … لَحُرِّكَ مِنْ هَذَا السَّرِيرِ جَوَانِبُهُ
فَسَأَلَ عُمَرُ بْنُ الْخَطَّابِ ابْنَتَهُ حَفْصَةَ: كَمْ أَكْثَرُ مَا تَصْبِرُ الْمَرْأَةُ عَنْ زَوْجِهَا؟ فَقَالَتْ: سِتَّةَ أَشْهُرٍ أَوْ أَرْبَعَةَ أَشْهُرٍ.فَقَالَ عُمَرُ: لا أَحْبِسُ أَحَدًا مِنَ الْجُيُوشِ أَكْثَرَ مِنْ ذَلِكَ.
Umar went out one night and he heard the laments of a woman:
This night felt long and has changed into pitch dark
Especially when I don’t have a lover who I can ask to play…
By Allah, if it is not for my fear of His knowledge…
I’d surely let this bed shake with another…
Umar then asked Hafsah R.Anha: “How long would a woman be fine (be patient) if she is left by her husband?” Hafsah answered: “Six months or four months.” Then Umar replied: “I’ll not let anyone from the mujahid army go to war for more than that duration.” [11]
Lastly, may Allah SWT ease all our daily affairs un understanding and learning Islam’s teachings. Amin.
We end with the supplication:
رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا
“Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous.”
Wallahu a’lam.
[1] See https://prpm.dbp.gov.my/cari1?keyword=nafkah
[2] See al-Mu’tamad fi al-Fiqh al-Syafie, 4/274
[3] Narrated by Abu Dawud (2142), Ibn Majah (1850) and Ahmad (20013)
[4] See al-Fiqh al-Islam wa Adillatuh, 10/7349
[6] Narrated by Abu Dawud (2142) and Ibn Majah (1850)
[8] See Tafsir Ibn Kathir, 1/510
[9] See Tafsir al-Tobari, 3/490
[10] Narrated by al-Bukhari )6139)
[11] Narrated by al-Baihaqi in al-Sunan al-Kubra (17908)